Bullying, Sexting Brought Up at Teen Summit

Popularity was something Parris King aspired for in the sixth grade. By seventh grade, she was pushing away from the same “popular crowd” she had courted and joined, life becoming a downhill tumble at that point. 

“It’s hard,” said King, 18, now a senior at .  “I know the dean and the students want to help me, but I feel like the bully has the power in that area.”

Ever since seventh grade, King has been the victim of rumors, taunting and other acts from some former friends. Life is about coping with the problem now, not escaping, her experience an example of how messy and complicated trying to find a resolution to bullying can be. 

BULLYING IN THE SPOTLIGHT

King was a speaker at the 2011 Middle School Teen Summit, recruited to tell middle school students about dealing with the issue of bullying. The day brought Goddard and Sandburg Middle School students together – children needed to get their parent’s permission to attend — to listen and to talk to professionals and their peers about bullying, building healthy relationships, the dangers and legalities of sexting, and other issues.

King advocated for students to make their voice heard if they experience problems with bullying. Staying quiet will not cause the problem to go away, knowledge she learned first-hand. 

“If you see something happen, stand up…” King said. “I know (the middle school-ers) want to fit in, they don’t want to stand out that way. At least stand up and say, ‘Hey, that’s not cool.’  At least that, at least say something to make them know that’s negative instead of re-inforcing the bully by saying, ‘Oh, that’s so funny.’”

King was one of three Glendora High school seniors to discuss their experience so that other middle school students might learn from their past. 

Isaiah Bint, 18, befriended a group of people as a sophomore he thought had his best interest at heart. 

He was wrong.  Behind his back on social media sites, they spread rumors that he was gay. The backroom chat went on unbeknownst to him until a friend approached him about the rumors. 

“It really controls everything that goes on in your life,” Bint said.  “Bullying, even if you are called a name in the hallway or at lunch, the feeling of being rejected or put down it sticks with you the whole day, the whole week, the whole month. It never goes away..” 

Bullying was one of many topics addressed. The importance of building healthy relationships that will allow children to gain valuable support was also brought up.  On the dangers of sexting, Jason Tibbetts, a detective in the Investigations Division at Glendora Police department, discussed the rising number of cases he has seen with children beginning at sixth and seventh grade. 

DANGERS OF SEXTING

“Sexting itself is not a crime necessarily, it’s what is the content of the sexting,” Tibbetts said. “It’s morally inappropriate regardless for kids to be doing that, but we start to get in the criminal matter when you get into photographs, child pornography, those types of things. The kids need to know be aware who they are sending these things to and who they are communicating with because a lot of the kids don’t realize the dangers involved.”

Tibbetts told the group of 30 students that distributing or exhibiting material of a minor in a sexual position is illegal, even if it is done by another minor. He also highlighted that anyone who knowingly sends or causes to be sent material of someone under 18 personally simulating sexual conduct could be fined or imprisoned.

With the widespread use of cellphones, children can easily endanger themselves by offering strangers their address, phone number and inappropriate pictures of themselves over the internet, he said. 

“These people can be very deceiving,” Tibbetts said. “They can tell (these children), ‘Hey, I am 19 or 15 like you.  Let’s meet.’  Kids need to know not to put out their addresses, not to put out their phone numbers.” 

Tibbetts said his primary concern was “about the person receiving it on the other end. A lot of these people are strangers and (these children) don’t even know who they are.

BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Melissa Germann, coordinator of Safe/ Drug Free at Glendora Unified, said the issue of bullying was addressed at the Teen Summitt this year because of the high media exposure the issue has drawn.

“It seems like it does not end over night,” said Germann, about bullying. “You just have to continue being persisitent, speaking out about your problem, and getting your parents involved, getting the school involved, and finding people who will help you get through it.”

King said she tried to keep her concerns to herself in middle school, except for one instance where she brought it up with a teacher who told her to “toughen up.” 

It was not until high school that she actively began looking for help, bringing up the concern to her mother repeatedly, who initially claimed she was acting “dramatic” for attention, that the stuation started to improve. 

Finding an answer to bullying is not always a linear path illustrated by examples put forward by the Glendora High seniors.  A parent might brush aside the child’s concerns, teachers might ignore a call for help. Even when addressed by schoolsite personnel, “the bullys themselves come back and they hit harder and harder and harder,” said King, the scenario she is currently dealing with. 

For many of the seniors, they said that they were able to overcome the problem either by approaching a schoolsite official or building a group of friends to support them through their problems.

King said she is still hassled by one person in particular at Glendora High School, but she has learned to speak up for herself and surround herself with friends from church and her varsity swim team that offer her support. 

"I’ve gotten stronger," King said.  "I know what I need to keep doing.  Who I need to stay away from."  

Davis Bint, who was also bullied in middle school, said, “You don’t want to tell your parents. You don’t even want them to know because you feel like it’s going to get worse or they are going to ignore you. 

Baiseri said parents should take notice of changes in their children’s behavior. 

“Watch your kids actions,” Baiseri said. “If it changes, there is probably something wrong. In elementary school I was a hyper kid, and then when I went to middle school I started to mope around.”  

For Lori Boyer, a counselor at Sandburg Middle School, she said she was surprised how the problem has persisted for King. 

“She’s still struggling with it and she’s a senior now,” said Boyer.  “I think that was a little surprising for me that she is still being bullied. With the 17 or 18 year olds, they know better. That was hard to hear for me because it made my heart bleed.”